It has been 6 weeks since I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy. In that time, I have worn a bikini twice. Yesterday, was exactly 6 weeks since birth and I wore a bikini to a family get-together. My body doesn’t look like it did prior to getting pregnant with Little Man. I don’t feel the same either.

Society wants mothers to bounce back to their prepregnancy weight. There are weight loss programs out there specifically targeting new mothers. There are creams to get rid of the stretch marks. People comment on how you look after birth. They may comment on how good you look or tired. There is such a focus on making it look like you never were pregnant–that you never gave birth.

But the thing is, your body spent 9 months growing a human. It spent 9 months stretching and caring for two humans. Why are we expecting mothers to bounce back immediately when it took 9 months to get to where they are? Mothers are learning how to parent a helpless newborn and heal from birth or surgery and their own self care tends to get pushed to the backburner.

Some people will be shocked that I was in a bikini at 3 weeks postpartum and then again at 6 weeks and honestly sometimes it shocks me as well. People don’t want to see the stretch marks and the loose skin and the bloated belly remaining. And that angers me. Everyone loves to see the weekly bump pictures during the pregnancy but then once the baby is here, it’s only about the baby. No one wants to see the postpartum body.

But I’m going to learn to love my postpartum body. It’s true that my body doesn’t look like what it did before pregnancy or when I was a teenager, but this body has done more than it did before pregnancy or when I was a teenager. My body has changed. My stretch marks are a testament to how far my body can stretch to care and nurture another human. I didn’t break; I stretched. My wider hips are a testament to the birth of my son. The extra pounds on the scale are a testament to the milk I’m producing and a reminder of what I did for 9 months. You don’t walk away from a 9 month journey looking and feeling the same way you did beforehand. You want a record of your growth and a reminder of the strength you have.

My body isn’t what it used to be and it probably won’t ever be. I don’t know if my stomach will shrink any more than it already has. I’m not sure if I’m going to do anything specific to force it. I’m not going to buy a million creams to fade my stretch marks. I don’t want to be ashamed of my postpartum body. I don’t want to hide it because I am amazed at what my body has done over the past year. I want to celebrate my body’s journey. I love my son unconditionally. I am amazed by him every day. It would be silly not to be amazed by the body that created him.