I saw my mom recently and she had come across an article in the newspaper that she shared with me and it made me start to think about the people I have met while grieving my angel baby.

It got me thinking about the types of people that I have come across as I’ve been coping with my miscarriage. The Mom, hands down, is the best person to get. Those people have been the easiest people to be around because I didn’t feel the need to keep myself together and pretend everything was alright. I could talk about my fears and grief without judgment. I didn’t really meet The Diagnoser so I can’t comment too much on that person.

I hated The Encourager. I shrank away from every person who acted like that. I didn’t need to hear about how I could get pregnant again or that it wasn’t the right time. I wanted to be upset. I wanted to be mad at the world. I wanted to cry and curl up on the couch and eat expensive ice cream. I wanted someone to see that part of me and tell me that it was perfectly okay to fall apart and that there was nothing wrong with being upset and angry and sad. I hated The Encourager who came in and “encouraged” and then I never heard from them again.

The worst type of person I have found is the one that just stops talking to you. I would name these people The Avoiders. I hated that they would stop talking to me if I was grieving because it was inconvenient. I hated that it felt like they wanted me to stop talking about it like they wanted me to just move on. Those people made me feel worse and made me question if my grief and feelings were valid. I started to question if I was allowed to grieve because other people have had worse miscarriages.

If you would like to read the article, not in a screenshot, here is the link to the article online. It was posted online on October 2nd.

https://www.telegram.com/news/20201002/when-someone-has-miscarriage-just-listen