July 7th was one year since my D&C. Sitting with my son on the couch while he napped, I was able to reflect on this past year and everything that has happened since. Bean would have been 5ish months old had I not miscarried, but I also wouldn't know Little Man. After the loss of … Continue reading One Year Since the Miscarriage
Tag: pregnancy loss
Cycle One After Miscarriage: One Line or Two?
It has been just about two months since I had my D&C. September would have been 5 months. We would have been finding out Bean's gender this month. I still think Bean was a boy. I also could have found out I was pregnant again this weekend. It has been two weeks since we started … Continue reading Cycle One After Miscarriage: One Line or Two?
Three Medical Bills Later and the Medical System Has Traumatized Me
I was going to be posting something very different today, but our medical insurance system sucks. I suffered a missed miscarriage at the end of June and had a D&C on July 7th. It is now August 27th and I am still fighting over bills and what is and what isn’t covered. Now, I had … Continue reading Three Medical Bills Later and the Medical System Has Traumatized Me
Grief Has Never Been Linear: It’s Unexpected
Grief is not a linear process. You do not progress from one stage to the next in one specific order. I once read that we keep our grief in a box. In this box, there is a pain button against one of the walls. At first, the ball is very large in the box and … Continue reading Grief Has Never Been Linear: It’s Unexpected
My Friend Had a Miscarriage: How to Support Them Through Their Grief
I suffered a missed miscarriage in the middle of a pandemic. It’s been over a month since the D&C and it’s still hard to admit. I was 9 weeks along when the baby’s heart stopped. Quite a few people around my husband and I knew, including all of my family, some of my friends, and … Continue reading My Friend Had a Miscarriage: How to Support Them Through Their Grief
PMS After Miscarriage: It’s Okay to Still Grieve
My period came 32 days after surgery. The weeks and days leading up to my period, I started looking up what to expect with my first period, but there wasn’t a lot of information regarding what your first period would look like after a D&C. The information was very broad saying that my period would … Continue reading PMS After Miscarriage: It’s Okay to Still Grieve
“Seeing the bright red blood, I remembered my lost baby”
The following ten days passed by in agonizing torture. Every time I went to the bathroom, I was reminded of what I had lost. Every time I looked down at the pad in my underwear, seeing the bright red blood, I remembered my lost baby. I desperately wanted to use a tampon, anything to hide … Continue reading “Seeing the bright red blood, I remembered my lost baby”
I Said Goodbye to My Baby: Day of the D&C
Finally, the day of my surgery arrived. I had to be there at 10:30. Because of the pandemic, I had to go in alone. My grandma had to wait outside for me. But, when we arrived and they told me to say goodbye, I broke down crying. I couldn’t go alone. I was terrified. I … Continue reading I Said Goodbye to My Baby: Day of the D&C
“I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat…”
I had a miscarriage in the middle of a pandemic, the most isolating time to suffer a great loss. The medical term is a missed, or silent miscarriage. I went to my 9 week OB appointment, thinking nothing was wrong, but my world was shattered there. The radiologist had turned the screen towards me. "I'm … Continue reading “I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat…”
Why Does Society Fail Women? It Changes Now
1 in 4 women. That’s a 25% chance. 1 in 4 women miscarry. And I am that one. In the middle of a pandemic. Right before a holiday weekend. My baby’s heartbeat stopped beating at 8 weeks. We found out at 9 weeks. I was scheduled for a D&C the following week. Quite a few … Continue reading Why Does Society Fail Women? It Changes Now